Day 1:\u00a0 A sudden thought and I have an epiphany – teach a dog to tell time.\u00a0 Having a dog that can tell time will alleviate the need to always wear a watch or to carry a timekeeping device.\u00a0 Make this happen.
\nDay 2:\u00a0 Obtain backing to finance the operation.\u00a0 Suffer ridicule at the hands of those that lack vision.\u00a0 Self esteem lowered by sniggering bureaucrats.
\nDay 3:\u00a0 Not finding financial or moral support have decided to go it alone.\u00a0 It will be a tough battle, but not having money only means less important things (like food, electricity, etc.) will have to be done without.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 I am extremely optimistic about my endeavor.\u00a0 Visions of winning a Nobel Peace Prize run though my head.
\nDay 4:\u00a0 Obtain dog.\u00a0 Who would have thought getting a dog from a shelter would cost so much?\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 Stop check to cable company.\u00a0 I’ll be far too busy to need entertainment anyway.
\nDay 5:\u00a0 Attempt to explain to Sid (Vicious – Sid for short) that biting his teacher is not going to earn him a gold star in class.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 Get tetanus shot.
\nDay 6:\u00a0 Woke to find Sid had shredded couch and my favorite shoes.\u00a0 Attempted to return him to shelter.\u00a0 Decided to keep Sid because they won’t return money.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 Sid evidently suffers from motion sickness.\u00a0 The smell in the car makes me retch (and air fresheners just ain’t cutting it).
\nDay 7:\u00a0 After a great deal of thought, it was decided that a digital timepiece would be easier for the animal to understand.\u00a0 Twelve hour time setting (as opposed to 24-hour mode).\u00a0 Strap watch to Sid’s leg (at great peril), so the lessons can begin.
\nDay 8:\u00a0 Training begins.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 I have met with little success today, and wasn’t sure if the problem was due to the dog’s inability to understand the concept of time, the inability to read numbers, or the lack of conveying the information (speech).
\nDay 9:\u00a0 Came up with brilliant solution to the speech issue (while watching a rerun of Mr. Ed):\u00a0 Paw the ground once for one, twice for two, thrice for three, and so on.\u00a0 Sid seemed reluctant to allow me to guide him in pawing the ground for counting purposes.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 Research how long a tetanus shot is good for?
\nDay 10:\u00a0 Decided to change tack and teach Sid to recognize numbers.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 Working with flashcards, chalkboard, and sticks appears to have failed.
\nDay 11:\u00a0 Injuries force teacher to take a short vacation from teaching.\u00a0 Who knew that this would be so tough?
\nDay 12:\u00a0 Sid ran away (thank goodness), and I have decided to accept the prevailing wisdom of others by just carrying a watch.\u00a0 Note:\u00a0 Rent carpet cleaner to remove Sid’s many, many leftover presents.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Day 1:\u00a0 A sudden thought and I have an epiphany – teach a dog to tell time.\u00a0 Having a dog that can tell time will alleviate the need to always wear a watch or to carry a timekeeping device.\u00a0 Make … Continue reading