John Wick – The Scottish Country Western Action Movie

I saw a trailer for John Wick the other night, and my curiosity was peaked sufficiently that I plan on watching it. I think, though, the editors/makers of the commercial/trailer for the movie, need a vacation, or need to be fired. Well, I hope it’s that, because otherwise it’s going to be a terrible movie.

Jumping forward to the important bits, they show you how he’s beaten up in what appears to be a home invasion. Seems to have something to do with somebody wanting his car. During the beating they decide to kill his dog. After that he’s out to set things straight.

Let me step back a bit.

The way Hollywood normally sets up this type of movie is fairly predictable. Good guy/girl (mostly guys), may be down on his luck, worn out, used and abused, taken for granted, is accosted/offended in some way, usually with the death or severe injury of a loved one. The hero is now, once again, reborn, a phoenix rising, righteous in all manners of brutality and ensuing explosions, graphic death scenes, and “witty” one-liners that set the hero apart from the bad guy(s). I’ve watched a lot of movies, and this IS the plot of many an action flick.

The problem I have with the commercial, though, is the sequence of highlights screwed up my head. The beating, the death of his dog? Okay, later we find out the dog is the last gift given to him by his deceased wife (whom, it is implied he dearly love(s/d)). Unfortunately, I’m already off in a far away land imagining a poorly toothed individual with little or no proper education, sort of a hill people kind of thing (sorry hill people), who’s saying, “You kilt muh dawg, and now I’m genna kilt you!” translation, “You killed my dog, and now I’m going to kill you!”

So you know, I’m laughing while writing this, days later, so you can imagine how I was when it first popped into my little pea brain.

Okay, so as if that’s not bad enough, the tangents are flying hard and fast. Saying ‘kilt’ has me imaging this with a Scottish twist. Yeah, I guess I’m gonna offend a whole lot of people today. Sorry about that. Anyway, the image of the hero and his dog wearing kilts, and the dog pulls it off exceptionally well, by the way, and I’m laughing even harder. The idea that this is the making of a perfect country western song rounds it off. Lyrics something like, ‘My wife is dead, you killed my dog, you stole my car, and now you wanna be friends, oh oh, you wanna be friends …’ start echoing off the empty walls inside my brain casing, and I’m laughing again.

The bottom line is, I hope this isn’t going to ruin the movie for me. Thanks a lot movie trailer editors!

Follow up:

Turns out the movie wasn’t half bad. =)

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