A Public Service Announcement from F.O.O.D.

F.O.O.D. – Friends Of Obliging Dinosaurs – is an organization trying to bridge the rift between man and dinosaur. Our motto — with education comes understanding, with understanding comes tolerance, and with tolerance comes appreciation.

F.O.O.D. realizes the following rules for raising and otherwise handling a dinosaur, be it as a mentor, parent, or friend, should be self-evident, but will list them anyway in the hope that the life they save may be your own.

Note: This list is not all inclusive and may be abridged or otherwise updated at any time. The writers of F.O.O.D. assume no resposibility, legally or morally, for any injuries or deaths that occur as a result of following these rules.

  1. Never wear meat cologne/perfume when hanging out with a dinosaur.
  2. Do not taunt a dinosaur.
  3. While watching a sporting game, The Superbowl for instance, never engage in behavior that could be considered in bad taste or aggressive.
    1. Do not do an inzone-after-touchdown dance.
    2. Do not get in a dinosaur’s face.
    3. No unsportsmanlike conduct.
  4. Do not argue with a dinosaur, even if you ARE right.
  5. Never try to put a dinosaur in the corner. Dinosaurs don’t do timeout very well.
  6. Do not play physical games with a dinosaur–thumbwrestling included.
  7. Never chest bump a dinosaur. It doesn’t matter that “your” team just scored a touchdown. Don’t do it!
  8. Do not tape a “kick me” sign to the back of a dinosaur.
  9. Never, under any circumstance, take food away from a dinosaur.
  10. Never attempt to do anything physically or mentally confrontational–Never try to stare down a dinosaur.
  11. Do not play dress up with a dinosaur.

Failing to comply with the above rules may result in serious bodily injury and or being eaten. Remember, a dinosaur has a delicate psyche and is very sensitive. Always be kind.

This entry was posted in Off Thoughts (Off as in Not Quite Right) and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to A Public Service Announcement from F.O.O.D.

  1. bear says:

    And one should never forget when dealing with Dinosaurs ….. That you are crunchy and taste good with or without ketchup.

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